October Is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month: Honoring the Babies We Remember and the Families Who Carry Them

For many, this month opens a space to share what has often been held in silence. Grief after pregnancy or infant loss is unlike any other—it touches every part of life and changes how we see the world.

The Conditions Beneath Our Grief

Grief does not happen in a vacuum. It’s shaped by our daily realities—our families, work, health, and home. Some people have time and space to mourn; others are forced to keep going because life demands it. When families are surrounded by understanding and support, grief becomes easier to carry. When they are not, it can feel unbearably heavy.

That is why awareness matters. Talking about loss creates room for compassion and connection. It reminds grieving parents that they are not alone.

Grief Doesn’t Move in Straight Lines

Grief rarely follows a predictable path. It comes in cycles—waves that return when we least expect them.

• Despair may come first, bringing disbelief and heartbreak.
• Self-blame may follow, with thoughts of “What could I have done?”
• Move to action can be the instinct to keep functioning, even when numb.
• Endurance is the strength it takes to live with grief over time.
• Survival is when loss becomes part of our story, not as pain alone, but as love remembered.

Every parent’s journey is different, but each carries the same truth: love does not end when life does.

When Helping Hurts

Those who support grieving families—nurses, counselors, doulas, chaplains, and friends—often carry a quiet sorrow of their own. It can be hard to witness loss and feel powerless to change it. That feeling, the grief of disbelief, reminds us that caring deeply always comes at a cost. But it also connects us more deeply to our shared humanity.

Holding Space Together

This October, let us light candles, speak names, and show kindness to those who are grieving. Let us care for ourselves as we care for others. And let us remember: to grieve is to love deeply, and to love deeply is to honor life itself. Even in loss, love endures.

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